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A prelude to murder most fowl

A few facts for you.

1) MT is a metric ton, or 1000 kg or 2204.623 pounds.  A “metric fuckton” is a part of speech without any real measurement value.  For some refrence, here are things which weigh 1 ton: An Audi TT or a cow.   Detonate 1 tonne of TNT generates 4.184 gigajoules of power.  That’s awesome because that would get 3 and a half Delorians into the future. 1000 kg of cocaine is about how much you would have needed to get John Belushi through a weekend.  The world’s largest hamburger weighs 2,014 pounds, which if you add on a 190 pound maniac to the scale to start gnawing on the thing, you’ld have a 1 tonne burger.

2) In 2013 an estimated,  5,155,000 MT of turkey will be consumed worldwide.  That’s 5 million tons, or 11,364,831,565 pounds of turkey.    So, with 7 billion people on earth, and 11.3 billion pounds of turkey.  That might not seem so bad, only 1.6 pounds of turkey per person per year on the planet.

3) If we could do a turkey to TNT comparison for a moment.  We’re estimating 5 megatons of turkey per year.  The total energy of all explosives used in World War Two (including the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs) is estimated to have been 3 megatons of TNT, according to Wikipedia.  If only we can find a way to weaponize turkeymeat, we could be sitting on a gold mine people. A delicious explosive goldmine.

4) Tryptophan doesn’t seem to actually be a) more present in turkeys, or b) make you sleepy when you eat a bunch of it for Thanksgiving.  (There was a Mythbusters on this with Alton Brown but it looks like the video has been taken down from any legit source I’d link to  ).

5) chart


5a) EU-27 Sounds like some awesome kind of new chemical.

6)  The italian word for turkey is tacchino, making someone who eats turkey a “tacchitarian”?  I guess in my case it’s a Tacchivore!

7) We eat chicken eggs and not turkey eggs because turkey eggs are expensive.  They cost generally $2 – $3 each,  fancy paying $36 for a dozen eggs?

8) The average weight of a turkey is 29 pounds, meaning our 11,364,831,565 pounds of turkey is roughly representative of 391,890,744 turkeys.  391 million turkeys might seem like a lot, but if you remember the Lionfish article I posted in December of 2010.  In that article I mentioned that 1 female lionfish could lay enough eggs to 2 years later create, conservatively, 10 thousand mature female lionfish.  If the initial guess was correct, our 1 Lionfish from 2010 may not seem like she’s catching up on turkeys, but her 10 thousand female children would have reached full maturity around December 5th, 2012.  So right now each of those 10 thousand females has laid another 2 million eggs so far this year, so we’re up to 20 million and climbing.  I would suspect our lionfish will be quickly closing in on our turkey.  So go eat some lionfish soon.

9) Cooking the turkey was the hardest part.


Enjoy your turkey facts, while I will have plenty of video and pictures for you soon!

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